Some of you may know me from my wine article series "I Love Italian Wine and Food, " similar French and German series, and travel articles that always manage to discuss local wine and food. It's true; I really do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. But I also hate wine and many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. Previous articles discussed the unconscionable expense and the embarrassing lack of knowledge.

What a confession to make -- I have no wine cellar. I can define two categories of people in my life; those who say "No wine cellar-why would you want a wine cellar?" and those who say "No wine cellar-how could you not have a wine cellar?" To be sure there is actually a third category - those who say "No wine cellar-what's a wine cellar?" Whenever I hear such a patently ignorant question my first reaction is -- I have nothing in common with such boors. Alas, I do. Neither of us have wine cellars.

Rule number 1 (so important that there is no rule number 2) - All true wine lovers must have a wine cellar. If you don't have a wine cellar you have to drink that $10 bottle of wine now or very, very soon instead of waiting twenty years when it may be worth $100. Besides missing out on this untaxed financial windfall, you won't get the satisfaction of experiencing its transformation from a run-of-the-winery bottle into liquid perfection and, what's even better, sharing your coup but not necessarily your bottle with friends and relations. On the other hand; what if you're not around in twenty years, or you are around but must religiously follow a diet restricted to a single glass of wine per year? Furthermore, there is always an outside chance that today's wine will magically transform itself into tomorrow's - vinegar.

There is room for a wine cellar in our lodgings, and the Internet posts countless articles and advertisements for wine cellars in line with any budget, even ours. What's more, I even know some contractors who would be glad to build me a wine cellar, the bigger the better. I wonder if my wife would consider my wine cellar as part of her home renovations budget.

Here are the other reasons that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: I can't get the... bottle opened, The insomnia, Food problems, Wine snobs, Those smells and those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and yes, The Solution.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian, French, or other wine, accompanied by the right foods. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. He knows what dieting is, and is glad that for the time being he can eat and drink what he wants, in moderation. His central website is www.wineinyourdiet.com devoted to the health and nutritional aspects of wine and its place in your weight-loss program. His global wine website is www.theworldwidewine.com. Visit his other websites devoted to Italian wine, Italian travel, and Italian food.

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